How to Give High-Quality Feedback

Feedback is one of those topics that seems simple in theory yet surprisingly tricky in practice. As a coach training provider, we see this all the time. Our students tell us that giving feedback can feel awkward, uncomfortable, and at times, even exposing. Receiving it can feel just as difficult, especially when it’s not delivered well.

Most of us can remember a moment when feedback landed more like criticism than support. When someone told us something they thought it was helpful but it actually made us shut down. It’s no surprise then that many people shy away from giving feedback or dread being on the receiving end.

And yet, when feedback is done well, it becomes one of the most transformational parts of coaching and leadership.

Why Traditional Feedback Tools Often Fall Short

Many of us were taught tools that focused mainly on the sequence of feedback. You know the ones… start with something positive, then slide in what needs work, then close with something encouraging.

It sounds considerate, but there’s a problem with this.

When feedback follows a predictable pattern, people stop listening to the positives. Instead of remembering what went well, they’re bracing themselves for the developmental bit they know is coming.

At the same time, some people avoid giving feedback altogether because they don’t want to hurt or discourage someone. But this removes the other person’s chance to learn, grow, and become more effective.

Even positive feedback can be badly delivered when it’s vague. Saying ‘well done’ or ‘you were great’ might feel nice in the moment, but without understanding what worked and why, the receiver has no way to repeat the behaviour.

In coaching, that clarity matters. High-quality feedback is a core part of helping clients see what they cannot yet see. And it all comes back to something fundamental: feedback is relational and it requires vulnerability on both sides.

A More Helpful Way to Think About Feedback

When you focus on the intention rather than the formula, then feedback feels safer and becomes more useful.

Ask yourself:

•       Why am I sharing this feedback?

•       What becomes possible for the other person when they hear it?

•       What becomes harder for them if they don’t?

When your intention is to support learning, growth, awareness, and new choices, the feedback naturally becomes more grounded and more impactful.

What High-Quality Feedback Looks Like

When feedback is delivered well (and our intention for giving feedback is to positively impact the other person) it creates clarity, strengthens relationships, and supports meaningful change. Whether the message is positive or developmental, high-quality feedback helps the receiver understand both what they’re doing and the impact it’s having.

Here are some principles that make the biggest difference:

• Ask Permission before giving feedback

  • This gives the other person agency and prepares them for what’s coming.

  • It also allows them to ask to receive it at a more convenient place or time

• Give feedback as soon as you can - and even immediately if possible

  • This helps them to connect the feedback to the specific actions

  • It also supports clearer insight into the impact of those actions

• Make sure that your feedback is helpful and forward focused

  • Ask yourself why you want to give feedback

  • What would happen if you didn’t give it?

• Keep your description “neutral” and avoid assuming intent

  • Stick to what you saw and heard

  • Stay out of interpretation

• Share the impact it had on you

  • This is your thoughts and feelings

  • When you are willing to be vulnerable first, it builds trust.

• Ask a question to open dialogue

  • Eg What are your thoughts? What would you like to do with this? How does this land for you?

• Give them space to respond and listen to them  

  • Their interpretation and insight matter

  • Don’t miss this part!

A Model to Deliver High-Quality Feedback

As part of our coach training development, our approach to feedback is rooted in the North Point Meta-Model.

This tells us that every person has:

•       an external world (actions and impact, which are visible), and

•       an internal world (thoughts and feelings, which are not visible unless shared).

We can both observe the external world. But we can never know someone’s internal world unless they tell us, and vice versa.

The NPA feedback model keeps feedback clean, relational, and aligned with coaching principles.

The NPA Feedback Model

1. Request permission to give feedback

Ask “May I give you some feedback?”

2. Describe the observed actions without interpretation

Describe only what you saw or heard, avoiding assumptions.

3. Share the impact, which is your own thoughts and feelings

This is revealing your internal world. Naming it is an act of vulnerability and trust.

4. Ask for their perspective

‘How does that land for you?’

‘What was happening for you in that moment?’

5. Enquire about any future desired impact and required action

‘What would you like to do with this?’

‘What support do you need from me?’

The strength of this model lies in helping someone understand the impact of their actions. They can’t know this unless you tell them. Equally, you can’t know their internal world unless they share it back with you. This creates an honest, respectful exchange that supports growth on both sides.

Final Thoughts

This model has transformed the way our students give feedback and the way they feel about giving feedback. Now it's your turn!

You might want to reflect on:

• Where has feedback worked really well for you?

• Where have you struggled with it?

• What helps you to receive feedback with openness rather than defensiveness?

• What do you notice when you use the NPA Feedback Model?

If you want to develop these skills further and learn how to coach with confidence, capability, and credibility, you can explore our ICF-accredited Level 1 Certificate in Professional Coaching (CPC).

Feedback is just one of the many foundational skills we build together in the programme.

Learn more here: https://uae.northpoint.ac/coach-training